Carolina Dutca
Nonna | Nonna noun [ feminine ] /'nɔnːa/ grandmother, grandma, granny
Nonna, you didn't like being called a grandmother. You have always been a big kid, even after you are seventy years old. You had cancer twice in your bright life. Knowing about this diagnosis, you actively traveled, traveled around almost the whole of Europe. But you made your last trip alone. You wanted before your death someone was near. I held your hand in intensive care when the liver failure took over and you had only a few hours to live. The last thing I heard was: "Let me go." There were moments when you felt too lonely, despite your close ones. After your death I found your diary. There were moments when it seemed that you love this life like no other, while at others you did not leave the house for weeks, absorbed in apathy.
At home alone you made earrings from old beads, once brought from abroad. Immediately after your death, I took both earrings and beads for them. I began to wear these earrings and continued to create new ones. At your funeral, I decided to throw one of them into the grave, because I was very afraid of losing our connection. Since then, I wear an earring in one ear only.
We are born and die alone, but I still see you in dreams. You asked me to look at the sky more often after your death. In these moments, I can always hear your voice.
Are you still in my heart
Your Caroline. dutcarolina.tilda.ws
