Daniella DiCarlo

The Smallest Dandelion | The Smallest Dandelion is a reflection of the past and present. It’s a narrative that expresses the conflicting feelings that are coming of age while also dealing with mental illness. The once beautiful world— full of desolate landscapes and a distant subject. I use my cousin as my muse to express these unprocessed feelings of depression and loneliness that I experienced as a middle schooler.

They say sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never harm you— I always thought they hurt so much more. My cuts healed and scarred, but my mental wounds would forever haunt me. There were words from everyone and everything; the world just seemed a lot meaner as a 13 year old then it had been when I was more compliant. This, on top of other things, led me to start struggling with my mental health.

I started The Smallest Dandelion project in 2019 when I was 21. I had just started going back to therapy and my little cousin had just turned 11; she and I had always been close. I was still trying to process the trauma that I experienced when I was her age; even as an adult I still had a fire burning inside myself for the way people had treated me and the way I had treated myself. It was apparent to myself that when I looked at her all I could seem to do was reflect on how it had all made me feel. So I let myself try to process those feelings and accept the person that I once was.

Dandelion is a metaphor that I use often, that refers to the resilience of someone who feels like they do not belong. The smallest dandelion may be small, but she is nothing to underestimate. She isn’t a fully grown dandelion, but there exists a resilience in her as it does in all dandelions— there exists the same resilience in myself that I see in her. Now, as a stronger dandelion with deeper colors, I stare alone in the mirror; even though it has been years, even though I’m almost entirely over her, in the deep reflection of the soccer fields, I see the smallest dandelion inside every little girl running through that patchy grass and white clover. When I stare into their eyes the reflection in their expressions look much like my own. I see the little dandelion I once was and I give myself a second chance. danielladicarlo.squarespace.com